So you're a woman looking for an eligible man. The bad news is so are millions of other women. The good news is by reading this you can get out there ahead of the pack. There are no secrets to meeting men, it's just like getting anything else you want out of life, by good planning, strategy and action.
Most women who want to meet men have no idea who they are looking for, they just assume eligible covers it. Wrong. You need to know what type of man you're looking for. What are you looking for? A husband, a meal ticket, a sugar daddy, lover, father figure, companion? The list is endless, so before you do anything else decide what you want or rather who you want. Rest assured the man you want is out there and if you don't get him someone else will. They won't necessarily be smarter or better looking than you, they will just be at the right place at the right time. By using a bit of initiative and intelligence you can learn to be in the right place more often and increase your chances of meeting the man you want.
Having decided on the type of man you are after you will have to take a good critical look at yourself, are you the type of woman that will attract his attention. We are all familiar with the old saying “ looks are only skin deep” this sounds alright in theory, but the brutal fact is that when you meet a stranger they will sum you up in about ten seconds. No one is saying you've got to be beautiful, just that you must make the best of yourself. Work on the assumption that you've got just ten seconds to make an impression
It might be that you are quite happy with the way you look and behave, that's fine. The following tips are still worth a read considering how stiff the competition is out there. Hair that is cared for shows, and a good cut and style always stands out. Hair that is coloured or tinted should be maintained to keep the gloss and shine.
Avoid wearing make up that is too heavy or badly applied. Find colours that suit you and if you're unsure how to use them get expert advice. Overpowering perfume can be a turn off, a subtle hint can be far more effective. When shopping for a new perfume to find the one that suits you best try one or two at a time and leave them on for about half an hour before buying.
Keep your clothes and accessories clean and in good condition, scruffy shoes and bags for instance can spoil the overall effect. Conversely the right accessories can do much to enhance an otherwise ordinary outfit. Personal hygiene is a must. Make sure your deodorant can perform under pressure, invest in good dental care equipment and generally aim for a healthy clean look.
Women generally assume that men have everything under control and it's always easier for them to make the first move. Nothing could be further from the truth. They have the same kind of inhibitions and hang-ups that women have, fear of rejection would be very high on the list. Add to that the pressure of having to make the first move and you get the idea of how daunting the whole business is and why some men just don't make that move. However things have changed and nowadays it's quite acceptable for a woman to make the first overture.
If you're out somewhere and people are dancing, it's quite acceptable for you to ask a man to dance. If the no holds barred approach isn't your style you can still make the first move but be more subtle about it. Let's suppose he's talking in a group of men and you want to ask him to dance. Approach the man so that there is no doubt about whom you've chosen and speak to the group as a whole. Say something like,”Would you mind if I borrow this gentleman (guy) for the next dance, I'll bring him safely back.” No guy would like to refuse in front of others and because you've picked him he's likely to feel flattered. Or how about: “I'm doing a survey on dance styles, can you spare a few minutes to test it out?” This sort of approach should be fun and most men will go along with it.
Maybe you want to approach a man who is on his own. What sort of thing could you say to him? First of all make sure he is definitely on his own, (ask him!) then let him know you are on your own too. Tell him you would like a couple of dances and ask him if he will partner you. Or you could try. “This music is just too good to sit it out, since you are on your own would you like to join me in a dance.
Let's suppose our next scenario is a busy cafe' or restaurant and you've spotted a man you would like to get to know. If he is already seated and you're not, the approach is simple. Stop by his table, smile (very important) and say.” Would you mind if I share your table? You don't bite do you?” It is important to get them to respond to something right away, otherwise he could retreat behind a newspaper or report and not come out until you have gone.
If you are seated and he is not, catch his eye, smile, pull out a chair and say something like. “I only need one of these, you're welcome to the other three.” A little bit of humour usually works because it is non threatening.
It's worth mentioning before we go any further that women are nearly always looking for men, while men are generally doing their own thing for any one of a million reasons. No matter what the leaders of the politically correct would have us believe, men and women are different. Not better or worse just different. Men are usually single minded, thus if for instance you spot a guy you like the look of when he's shopping for computer parts you will have to do some pretty fancy foot work to get his mind off computers and on to you.
So how would you go about it? Appeal to his ego, ask for help and advice. Of course this will call for some quick thinking on your part, but you should become familiar with this, as there are no perfect circumstances for meeting that man. The fact is you are probably seeing these men now but not taking that split second opportunity. So back to our man in the computer department. A simple “Excuse me", will get his attention, then look him in the eye, and smile, just a nice friendly smile, and deliver your line. “You look like a guy who knows about computers, can you tell me which of these modems would be the best buy?” Remember an appeal to his ego, a smile and a plea for help will work nine times out of ten.
We've covered a few simple methods of approach, now where are you most likely to meet the man of your choice? At the beginning we mentioned that you need to know what type of guy you are looking for. For instance if you are looking for an out-doors type, it is unlikely that you will meet him at an art gallery. Not impossible but improve your chances by attending venues that he is likely to frequent. Do your homework; go through the lists of clubs and organizations you think he's likely to go to. Find out when and where they meet and get your-self along to them
Bars and restaurants are pretty obvious places for meeting the opposite sex, however if you decide to go down this road make sure you find the right kind of bars that are frequented by the type of guy you wish to meet. Men that are financially secure and upwardly mobile are more likely to be found in the five star hotel bars, upmarket restaurants or sports clubs.
Most large city hotels will have convention facilities. Make it your business to know what's happening on the conference and convention front, as this is a good way to meet men. For instance, if the hotel runs a convention for two hundred lawyers, most will be men and they will be in house for two or three days minimum. A great deal of their time will be taken up with meetings and seminars but in their free time they will be at a loose end and so frequent the bars and other facilities. People love to give you information, a friendly chat with a staff member will furnish you with all the information you need to be in the right place at the right time. Be warned though a married man is not an eligible man and when away from home they like to play. Make sure they are the quarry and not you.
A certain amount of eligible men still attend church but the chances of meeting one are greater if it's a big organization that holds plenty of gatherings and socials. In this sort of situation introductions are fairly easy since most members are only too willing to get everyone aquainted.
A good source of information for up coming events and meetings is the local newspaper. Quite often they run a “ What's On.” Section in the weekend edition. It will generally cover a whole host of activities but if this sounds like just so much hard work, bear in mind that if you're really serious about meeting man it's going to take time and effort. However that said it is not neccessary to have tunnel vision in your search for the right man, make it a point to enjoy yourself whatever the outcome of your expeditions.
Some types of holiday are ideal for meeting singles. Specialized holidays such as safaris, trekking, walking holidays, adventure trips, scuba diving, all work on the group basis of usually around ten to fifteen people, who also want to meet other like minded people and have a good time. Holidays such as Club Med aim specifically at people who want to meet others and socialise. The single men here will defiantly be looking for a holiday romance. Cruise ships always have a good percentage of singles but at the top end of the market they tend to be on the mature side. If you are yourself on the mature side then the pickings here can be slim and the competition fierce. A coach tour holiday may be a better bet when if all else fails you could enjoy the scenery.
While on the subject of holidays, airports are a good source of single men. You don't have to be going anywhere yourself, just be at an airport. Although men departing have time on their hands so it would be easy to strike up a conversation (see Bars and Cafes.) it will have to be very impressive to make him a) correspond with you while he's away; b) remember you when he gets back; c) visit this town again as he was just passing through or if you really set the world alight he may d) even miss his flight! It will be safer though maybe harder to scan the arrivals. Try sharing a taxi back to town, or if you were to hold up a name board it virtually gives you a licence to approach anybody. So you got the flight wrong and you are going back to town, would he like a lift?
Sport has always played a big part on the social scene, if you browse through your local telephone directory the list of sporting activities will astound you. In fact you will surprise yourself and discover sport's you never knew existed. If you actually enjoy sport so much the better but you don't have to participate in anything to enjoy all the social advantages. Clubs such as golf or sailing tend to have a large non-participating membership and vary from the run of the mill clubs to the very elite. If you are looking for a wealthy eligible man, you need to get yourself invited to a polo match or one of their socials, this will take more effort and not a little initiative. Equestrian clubs cover a huge range, how about dusting of your boots polishing up your line dancing and heading for the Rodeo, it's not all bull dust!
In the last few years work outs at the gym have become a way of life and people socialize at the gym the way they used to at dances fifty years ago. Though it is a good place to meet, there are a few pit falls. Some people are obsessed with the “body beautiful” and the only people they are going to look at are themselves. Fortunately they are easy to spot, so you can cross them off the list fairly quickly. The guy that is using the gym to just keep in shape won't be fanatical and you will know him, as he won't be honed to perfection. He will have time to smile or say hello, he won't spend all his time checking his muscle tone, he will be more laid back and relaxed about the whole thing.
As a last resort, if you can't see yourself making use of any of the forgoing information you could try a dating agency. However it's worth noting that the fees for the better agencies can be a little high with still no guarantee that you will meet someone who appeals to you.
Here are some points to remember when you set out to meet man.
· Do your homework. Give yourself the best possible chance by making sure you are at the right venue
· Wear the right clothes. Find out beforehand and if you are unsure don't be afraid to ask, most people are only too happy to help.
· Brush up on your conversational skills but more important, be a good listener.
· Don't drink alcohol on an empty stomach; if you are unsure of the eating arrangements have a snack before you go. Never drink too much
· Organize your travel arrangements to give yourself flexibility in the event that the unexpected happens.
· By all means give out your telephone number or email address, but be wary of disclosing your home address indiscriminately.
· If you think sex might be in the agenda carry a condom, remember accidents don't just happen, they are caused.
Now that you have the information at your fingertips it's up to you to go out and start putting some of the ideas into practise. It won't necessarily be easy but have fun anyway. If there is a final piece of advice that we can give you that will make a difference it is SMILE MORE. All men like a smile and it makes you look more attractive. Try it and see if it isn't true
Happy Hunting.
Trish is an author and life coach who specializes in health, wellbeing and relationships. For loads of information on these and many other subjects, such as dieting and exercises, visit her web site
http://www.wellbeing-information.com
